At tiney, we don't talk about 'managing' children's behaviour. We talk about supporting and understanding it. That might sound like a small difference, but it matters a lot. Children's behaviour is a form of communication. When a toddler has a meltdown, a child bites, or a child pushes the boundaries, they're telling you something. Your job is to figure out what. This article covers what the EYFS requires of you, what you absolutely cannot do, and practical approaches that actually work.
The language we use
The EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stage) statutory framework uses the term 'Supporting and Understanding Children's Behaviour' and so do we. You'll see this reflected in your required policy, which is called exactly that.
This isn't just a naming preference. It reflects a whole way of thinking. Children's behaviour is rarely 'bad'. It's usually the result of unmet needs, developmental stages, big emotions they don't yet have the words for, or a response to something in their environment.
Good to know: Behaviour and wellbeing is consistently rated as one of the strongest areas seen in tiney Quality Assurance visits. You're already doing this well. This article is here to support you in understanding what's required and why. |
Your behaviour policy
As a tiney childminder, you're required to have a 'Supporting and Understanding Children's Behaviour' policy in place. It needs to be:
Written and available
Shared with parents as part of your contract process
Reviewed regularly
tiney provides a template policy you can use as a starting point, but it's important that you adapt it to reflect your own practice and setting. Your policy should describe how you actually work with children, not just what the EYFS says.
For example, if you get down to a child's level to talk about feelings, use visual aids or social stories, or have particular strategies that work well for children in your care, these are exactly the kinds of things that should be in your policy.
If a child bites: You don't need a separate biting policy. Consider adding a section to your behaviour policy that covers what biting might be communicating and the strategies you'd use. For babies and toddlers, biting is often developmental, linked to teething, frustration, or exploring their world. Think about what the child needs, not just what happened. |
What the EYFS says you must never do
The EYFS is very clear on this. There are certain things that are never acceptable, no matter the situation.
You must never:
Use or threaten corporal punishment (this includes smacking, hitting, shaking, or any form of physical discipline)
Use any punishment that could harm a child's emotional or physical wellbeing
Allow anyone else in your setting to use corporal punishment, whether they live there, work there, or are visiting
That last point is important. You have a legal responsibility to take reasonable steps to ensure that no one in your setting uses corporal punishment. This includes partners, family members, assistants, and anyone else who may be present when children are in your care.
Important: Corporal punishment is never acceptable under any circumstances. There is no grey area here. |
When can physical intervention be used?
Physical intervention is different from punishment. In rare situations, it may be necessary to keep a child safe.
Physical intervention is where practitioners use reasonable force to prevent children from injuring themselves or others or damaging property. (EYFS Statutory Framework)
An example might be holding a child back from running into a busy road, or stepping in to prevent a child from hurting another child.
Physical intervention must only ever be:
A last resort
Proportionate to the situation
Necessary to prevent harm
It is not a tool for behaviour management. It's a safety response in a genuine emergency.
If you use physical intervention, you must:
Record the incident in detail
Inform the child's parents on the same day, and as soon as reasonably practicable
Reflect on what happened and what the child needs going forward
Consider whether the child needs additional support, including from external professionals
Remember: After any physical intervention, take time to think about the child's needs. What were they communicating? What support do they need? Is there anything you can put in place to help prevent a similar situation in future? |
Practical approaches that work
The most effective approach to children's behaviour is rooted in connection, not correction. Children behave better when they feel safe, understood, and in a trusting relationship with the adults around them.
Here are some approaches that work well in a home-based setting.
Get down to their level
Physically getting down to a child's level when talking about feelings helps them feel heard and makes the conversation less intimidating.
Name the feeling
Help children build emotional vocabulary by narrating what you think they might be feeling. 'You look really frustrated. It's hard when the blocks keep falling, isn't it?'
Look for the cause
Ask yourself: what is this behaviour telling me? Is the child tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or seeking connection?
Keep routines consistent
Predictable routines help children feel safe. Many behaviours that appear 'challenging' are a response to uncertainty or change.
Co-regulate before you expect self-regulation
Young children can't manage their emotions alone. They need a calm, regulated adult alongside them first.
Redirect, don't just react
Where possible, guide children towards something they can do rather than focusing on what they can't.
These aren't one-size-fits-all solutions. Part of getting to know each child is learning what works for them specifically. That's one of the huge advantages of a home-based setting. You have the time and the relationship to really understand each child.
How tiney can support you
Behaviour support is one of the areas where being part of the tiney community really makes a difference.
In the app
Your tiney app includes CPD modules you can work through at your own pace. The module 'Managing Feelings and Behaviour' is a great place to start. It covers practical strategies alongside the theory behind why children behave the way they do.
Your tiney community coach
If you're finding a particular child's behaviour challenging and want to talk it through, your community coach is a great first port of call. They can help you think through strategies, consider whether there might be an underlying need to explore, and connect you with specialist support if needed.
SEND support
If you have concerns that a child's behaviour might be linked to additional needs, our SEND support team can help. Behaviour that seems challenging is sometimes a sign that a child needs additional support. The earlier you can get the right people involved, the better.
Not sure who to talk to? Reach out to the team via in-app messaging and we'll point you in the right direction. |
Common questions
What if a parent asks me to discipline their child in a way I'm not comfortable with?
You are never obligated to use any form of discipline that conflicts with the EYFS or your own policy, even if a parent requests it. Corporal punishment is unlawful in a childminding setting regardless of what a parent says. If a parent raises concerns about how you support their child's behaviour, it's a great opportunity to have an open conversation about your approach and share your policy with them.
A child in my setting bites other children. What should I do?
Biting is really common in babies and toddlers, and it almost always has a reason behind it: frustration, teething, developmental stage, or a communication need. Try to identify the trigger if you can. You don't need a separate biting policy, but you might want to add a section to your behaviour policy. If you're struggling to get on top of it, speak to your community coach or contact our SEND support team.
What counts as 'punishment that could harm emotional wellbeing'?
The EYFS is intentionally broad here. Things like deliberately ignoring a child as a punishment, humiliating them, or using language designed to make them feel ashamed or afraid would all fall into this category. As a rule of thumb: if you're trying to make a child feel bad about themselves rather than helping them understand their behaviour, it's not an approach that belongs in your setting.
I used physical intervention to stop a child hurting another child. What do I do now?
First, well done for keeping everyone safe. Now, make sure you record exactly what happened, including the context, what you did, and why. Contact the parents of both children on the same day and let them know what happened. Then take a moment to think about what might have led to the situation and what support the child might need going forward.
Still have questions?
Get in touch with the team via in-app messaging or email us at community@tiney.co. We're always happy to talk through anything with you.